Confessions of an Aussie Porn Star: Absolute Mayhem

| 2 November , 2009 | 1 Reply

Guest editor

Guest Editor, Jane de Graaff from I Ate It All

When I meet Monica Mayhem, I am taken aback.

Firstly by her huge blue eyes, then by her gentle smile and finally by just how normal she looks. Away from the cameras and adoring fans of her career you\’d think she was just another attractive girl in the street. But she\’s not. She one of LA\’s most successful Porn Stars, having appeared in hundreds of films, won numerous adult awards and earned a reputation as a highly saleable Features Porn Star. He book (Confessions of an Aussie Porn Star- Absolute Mayhem) covers her life story so far, right from her troublesome and fairly abusive early years, into her rise through the Australian and UK financial markets, to finally packing in the corporate life and establishing herself as one of Porn\’s most successful and long standing stars.

Monica Mayhem

Her story is by turns hilarious, moving, tragic and just plain strange. It\’s certainly provides a rare and candid look into that fascinating and often grimy world of adult films and Porn.

As we settle in for a chat I notice that through her pronounced American accent drifts residual Aussie twangs here and there- evidence of her Australian roots (pardon the pun).

She was born in Brisbane QLD, but moved to LA for a change of scene and that\’s when her Porn career took off. But she\’s back; to promote her new book and I\’ve grabbed some of her time to see what writing her story was all about.

JdG: So, Monica- I guess the first question is; what made you decide to write a book?

MM: Well actually my whole life I\’ve wanted to write a book. Because it\’s been so fascinating. I got approached a couple of years ago by my ghost-writer [Gerrie Lim] and he\’s like ‘lets pitch this to Random House\’, and they just loved the idea.

JdG: Your book appears to cover quite a unique topic- the life of a Porn Star. Are there other stories like yours out there? Or is there a hole in the market?

MM: Mine was a much more honest look into the industry, where there was Jenna Jameson\’s book, but she glamorised it. It\’s not all really like that and I\’m very honest. I\’m gonna say it how it really is, not how people think it should be.

JdG: The book is very revealing, did you have trouble deciding what to put in and what to leave out?

MM: It was actually quite easy because we had three editors and some lawyers look over it. We did really well. There was only maybe one little thing that had to come out in the end, but otherwise that was it. What we wrote got through to the final copy. Mainly because I don\’t name drop and stuff so it wasn\’t too hard deciding what could go in. But I relied a lot on trusting my co-writer and everyone else involved.

JdG: Did you have a hard time working out the chronology of events for the book?

MM: Well, we just wrote it the way it came together and sent the manuscript off. Then they had an editor come in and go ‘I think this should go here\’, so they switched it around to make it flow a lot better. But we thought that was fantastic. It made the whole process much easier.

JdG: The book covers a huge amount of your life, especially the difficulties of your early childhood, was that hard for you to write about?

MM: That\’s the thing, the repressed memories that I had to dredge up. That was actually really hard because I\’d forgotten a lot of stuff and then when the questions got asked I\’d think, ‘oh god, this happened and then this happened\’, and then you just keep thinking of things. I must have driven my writer insane because all these memories kept coming up over months and months&. most of the stuff was done by email so I would write long emails answering questions that Gerrie sent me.

We just did back and forth emails a lot- there must have been over a thousand emails in that time. It really worked out well that way and I\’m much better at writing down things that have happened, rather than saying them.

JdG: Ok, so Gerrie ghost-wrote for you, but a lot of it seems like your own words? Do you feel like it\’s your voice?

MM: Yeah, definitely, that\’s the way that I say things. And obviously he\’s a professional writer so he would correct all the grammatical stuff for me, and the way things should be said – but he really did a great job of getting inside my head. And adding little things too- like research on some stuff, adding quotes and comments.

Absolute Mayhem

JdG: I finished reading the book and I just wanted the story to keep going, will there be another one?

MM: I would love to write another book, or even a sex advice book for couples to spice up their relationships, something like that would be great. I\’d love to do a sequel, but I\’ve just probably gotta wait a few years to see what happens next. Because obviously the industry has just gone downhill [with the GFC] and I don\’t see myself staying there very long.

JdG: You talk about there being a point where you will leave the Porn industry, is your music the next big project for you?

MM: I am still working on my music, but I\’ve had a rough ride with musicians, in LA especially, and people have been very unreliable there.

LA is a tough place to live. But I\’m still working on my music. When I get back I just met up with some musicians who are interested in writing together. It\’s just a matter of booking studio time and that costs a fortune. And obviously my music career is probably not going to pay the bills, but I still love it. You never know. I just find that people don\’t take Porn Stars very seriously when it comes to things like music, you know?

JdG: So even with all your passion for music, you find that being a Porn Star and having that label gets in the way?

MM: Definitely. But then they hear the music and they\’re like ‘oh wow, that\’s actually pretty good\’. So you never know.

JdG: Did you have any stories in the book that you particularly enjoyed sharing?

MM: I was actually laughing reading back a lot of the stuff that I wrote. I just kept thinking ‘oh my god, I can\’t believe all the strange things that have happened to me\’. But the one thing that stands out would be in filming The Violation of Harmony, the foot thing. [You\’ll just have to read the book to find out what she means&]. It was so twisted. It was hilarious!

JdG: With that sort of thing, where what you\’re asked to do is a bit odd, do you find it hard to draw a line for yourself?

MM: No, not at all. I will just say ‘I\’m not doing that\’. You don\’t have to do anything that they ask you too. Some directors try and push the limits of how far you\’ll go. But they know with me that they won\’t get away with it. Everyone in the industry knows how I am and that I\’m very professional but that I won\’t do somethings.

I was actually very successful with the Feature films [Porn with a storyline] because of that, all the nice stuff for couples. It\’s straight-forward and there\’s no nasty stuff. I think it helped me become the ‘classy Porn Star\’. But that lost me a lot of work in Gonzo films [more voyeuristic, reality style porn].

JdG: In the book you talk about the fact that your marriage didn\’t survive, has this changed your view to marriage and would you ever marry again?

MM: I certainly would, I just wouldn\’t rush into it next time. I was young and it was fun and everything. But I\’m just waiting for the right guy now. I don\’t just fall in love with the first guy that I go out with anymore. I used to think that I was in love all the time, but I wasn\’t. So now I\’m just really careful about who I go out with.

JdG: Is it hard for a Porn Star to date?

MM: Yes, definitely. Because of the jealousy factor, it\’s huge. In the beginning they think they can handle it. But then three months later when they\’re actually starting to care about you, it\’s just a whole big mess. Then they get jealous and insane and they can\’t deal with it&

They also get intimidated and think that you might be ‘faking it\’. They don\’t expect you to be what they\’ve seen on camera, but they do say things like ‘well I can\’t compete with the guys that you work with\’. And I have to explain that it\’s so different on camera, and that I don\’t look for that. Once you explain it all to them, how it\’s just work and it\’s hard work, it\’s not always fun, then they understand it a little bit more. You have to make them feel good about themselves, you know?

JdG: The book is called ‘Confessions of an Aussie Porn Star\’, did it feel like a confession- was it a relief to share your story?

MM: It was. It was like getting a lot off my chest. Basically being able to say all the things that I wanted to say. I don\’t want to go around being negative and talking about my problems all the time. So writing it all out and just sharing it with whoever wanted to read it was kind of like a big relief. Just being able to explain to people that this is how it really is. And I\’ve had a great response so far. It\’s been really good.

Confessions of an Aussie Porn Star- Absolute Mayhem, is out now though Random House (RRP$34.99) and it\’s one roller coaster of a ride. But be warned, it is very revealing and not for the prudish or faint of heart.

Jane

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